In recent years, a new phenomenon has emerged in the emotional relationships of young adults and older adults in Iran and around the world, known as “Sugar Daddies” and “Sugar Mommies.” In this relationship model, an older, wealthy individual forms a relationship with a younger person.
The younger partner provides emotional capital, time, energy, affection, and companionship, and in return, receives financial support and life amenities. In other words, these relationships, instead of being based solely on mutual love and affection, have taken on an economic and contractual nature. A Sugar Mommy is an older, wealthy woman who seeks out younger partners, and a Sugar Daddy is an older man who attracts the attention and affection of younger individuals through financial support.
Social experts and psychologists believe this phenomenon is not only a result of economic pressures and financial crises but also a reflection of identity and social changes among younger and middle-aged generations. Due to a lack of financial independence, young people are looking for quick ways to meet their economic needs and achieve a sense of financial security. On the other hand, many young people, in the process of forming their identity and social independence, do not find sufficient opportunity to experience healthy and stable relationships. These identity and social voids make them vulnerable and create a context for accepting transactional relationships.
Conversely, older individuals who have spent years of their life energy on work and achieving financial success might seek to compensate for loneliness and a sense of missed youthful experiences through relationships with younger people. Modern society, with its reduction of close family and social connections, has created a space where love and affection are seen in commercial or contractual terms. Relationships that were once based on trust and affection are now defined by a “money for love” perspective. Within this framework, generational differences and a need to re-experience the passion and vitality of youth drive older individuals towards such relationships.
The social and psychological consequences of these relationships are extensive and multi-layered. Emotional instability and confusion among youth, increased risk of financial and sexual exploitation, and the promotion of a culture of consumerism and emotional transactionalism are considered its most important effects. In the long term, the trust of the younger generation in healthy, stable, and reciprocal relationships decreases. This can weaken the family structure and cultural values of society, creating a generation with material expectations and superficial relationships.
To prevent young people from getting trapped in this type of relationship, families and society can take practical measures. First, teaching financial literacy and money management skills from adolescence strengthens economic independence and the ability to make informed decisions, reducing dependence on easy sources of money.
Second, creating social, cultural, and sports spaces that enable healthy interaction and the establishment of relationships based on respect and trust not only replaces economic relationships with positive and stable experiences but also provides a suitable platform for better understanding future spouses and facilitating healthy marriages for young people. Strengthening psychological and emotional skills, teaching emotion management, the ability to form healthy communication, and self-belief play an important role in reducing the vulnerability of youth.
Additionally, media awareness and education about the dangers of economically-motivated and transactional relationships, coupled with open and honest family dialogues, can increase young people’s sensitivity and self-awareness. Holding workshops and educational programs in schools and universities, providing easy access to psychological counseling, and creating social support networks are other effective measures.
Ultimately, families and society must create an environment where love, affection, respect, and trust are upheld as enduring values, replacing emotional transactionalism. Only then can the younger generation experience healthy, mutual, and stable relationships and avoid getting caught in harmful dynamics. When young people grow up in an environment full of respect and trust, they can make the right choices, forming an independent, intelligent generation ready for healthy marriage. A bright future begins with human and stable relationships, not emotional-economic transactions.
Zeinab Heidari